Uptown Clown

dining roomOutside Orlando, McDonald goes upscale. But in an Orlando kind of way.

Here’s a shot of the lobby. That’s a big-ass aquarium in the foreground and a big-ass flatscreen TV mounted on the far wall. Family seating, dark wood tables, some kind of reed or stick centerpiece. And is that fake thatch I see overhead?

YikesUnfortunately, they don’t do a good job of introducing their new decour. The first hint that you’re not approaching a regular old molded-plastic Mickey D’s is this Ronald McDonald sign out on McCoy Road. Everyone knows Ronald’s a bit creepy, but what’s up with the inflateable-sex-doll facial expression? “Come in, children, and be molested.” Yeesh.

parrotFor me, the crowning touch is this bird statue. Have you ever wondered what Jimmy Buffett would look like if he were reincarneted as a giant parrot and forced to serve cocktails at a McDonalds? Now you know.

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