Lefty bloggers enjoy pointing out the factual errors in Ann Coulter’s writing. Now I know why–it’s easy and fun! Coulter parts ways with reality with such frequency, you don’t have to get very far into her columns to find a glaring inaccuracy. Take her December 27 installment, which begins:

(NOTE: This is an updated version of a column by Ann Coulter that first ran six years ago in December.)

President Bush’s Kwanzaa message this year skipped the patently absurd claim of years past that: “African-Americans and people around the world reflect on African heritage during Kwanzaa.” Instead, he simply said: “I send greetings to those observing Kwanzaa.”

Her updates must not have included any fact-checking. The President’s 2006 Kwanza greeting begins:

I send greetings to those observing Kwanzaa.

During the seven days of Kwanzaa leading up to the New Year, friends and family come together in a spirit of love and joy to honor their rich African heritage, reflect on the Seven Principles, and give thanks for the blessings of freedom and opportunity.

Yes, Bush has dropped the patently absurd claim that people “reflect on African heritage,” asserting instead that they “honor their rich African heritage.” Thank you for clearing that up, Ann.

This is just the first 60 or so words of a 900+ word column. I could continue hunting for misleading and/or inaccurate statement, but it’s too easy. In fact, I think that’s exactly what Coulter wants. Every hour that liberal writers spend picking at her columns is an hour they don’t spend doing anything useful, like canvassing, fundraising, or community service.

Fellow bloggers, don’t fall into the trap! Walk away from Coulter’s insidious electronic flypaper. Be free! Hug a child! Live, damn you, live!

UFO lovers may get the cold shoulder from the NSA (see last entry), but the French government will soon give them a kiss on either cheek. According to Reuters, the France’s version of NASA is going to publish an archive of 1,600 UFO incidents online. Sacré bleu!

Dear UFO Kooks,

Quit asking us about UFOs. Really. We don’t know anything, and if we did we wouldn’t tell you.

We’re the most secret organization in the world. You know how you get to be the most secret organization in the world? By not telling people shit. That’s what we do. So quit asking.  

Maybe you’re thinking “Hey, you have to tell us what you know about UFOs! Our taxes pay your salaries!” Gosh, we’ve never heard that one before. We’ll be right over with a big stack of secret papers. Not.

Don’t like it? There’s this thing called a congressman. Write to him or her.

Maybe you’ve got a question like “oh, this isn’t really about UFOs, it’s just related to UFOs, maybe they’ll answer.” Wrong. We’ve put together a nice list of stuff we’re not going to tell you anything about. It’s here: http://www.nsa.gov/foia/foia00005.cfm

The irony is that we’re always telling people we don’t know stuff when we really do. But this time we don’t. Really. But no one will believes us. The irony keeps us awake at night.

Not really.

Anyway, just read the list and quit bugging us. Thanks.

Love and hugs,

The National Security Agency

P.S. Here’s a picture of a UFO in Mexico. We got it from Google. Google says they’re lots of UFOs in Mexico. The Mexican government must know a lot about it. I’ll bet if you ask them, they’ll tell you everything.

That’s the name of the meth & opiate combo that helped kill River Phoenix on Halloween, 1993, at the Viper Room in Hollywood.

However, his death was not entirely from Persian Brown, as some sources make it sound. Here’s what else the 23-year-old actor had in his system when he died:

• heroin
• cocaine
• cough syrup
• cannibus, and
• vallium

Cough syrup? Maybe all the snorting had given him a scratchy throat. In any case, other celebrities who had meth in their systems when they died include Rick James and Chris Penn. Like Phoenix, Penn and James didn’t just have meth–all died with a stew of illegal and prescription compounds in their blood.

But meth isn’t all Hollywood glitter. If you don’t believe me, take a look at the pictures in yesterday’s entry. And remember to take the Frat House or Meth Lab Photo Challenge!

Only 12 shopping days left until Meth Awareness Day! Don’t wait till the last minute to have your holiday pictures taken.

To get you in the mood of the season, allow me to present the Frat House or Meth Lab Photo Challenge. Look at the photos below–one is the living room of a frat house, the other is the living room of a meth lab. Can you tell which is which?

Leave a comment with your answer–extra points if you can explain how you know which is which (there is a clue, if you know what to look for). If correct, you become eligible for a prize from the Surly Vault.

And don’t forget to get your holiday cards in the mail–the post office will not deliver mail on Methmass Eve.

Psych! National Methamphetamine Awareness Day isn’t really today–it’s November 30. You still have 13 days to organize organize a parade and get your costume together.

But…November 30 is not National Desoxyn Awareness Day, even though Desoxyn is the brand name under which meth is sold. Yes, you heard right. Meth-by-another-name is sold over the counter as treatment for Attention Deficit Disorder. It’s a DEA Schedule II drug, so it’s OK. The tough part is finding a pharmacist with a mullet.

Ever seen a meth lab? If you’re in Arkansas, northwest North Caroline, or any other meth hot spot, just follow your nose. Apparently they smell like cat urine.

UPDATE (4pm): I missed this awesome meth awareness page courtesy of the Department of Justice. That one lab with the wooden cabinets looks like the kitchen of every apartment I’ve ever lived in. And check out those teeth!

“But Surly, are there any other government agencies that produce VNRs?”

Absolutely! For instance, there’s the Office of National Drug Control Policy.

True, I didn’t find any VNRs on their site. But there is this letter from the Government Accounting Office stating that

we [GAO] conclude that the prepackaged news stories in these VNRs constitute covert propaganda and violated the publicity or propaganda prohibition because ONDCP did not identify itself to the viewing audience as the producer and distributor of these prepackaged news stories.

Personally, I think that ONDCP should post its VNRs on its Web site. We should at least have access to the propaganda produced by our tax dollars. Free propaganda now!

I’ve been hearing about Video News Releases (VNRs) for awhile now, but I didn’t know how to get ahold of these fake news items while they’re still fresh, hot, and steaming. Here’s one source: USDA’s Broadcast Media & Technology Center.

VNRs are distributed to TV stations, some of which broadcast them as news without the disclaimer that they were produced by the federal government. Your tax dollars paid for this propaganda, you might as well enjoy it!

This has been quite a week. President Bush signed the Military Commissions Act of 2006, authorizing torture and trashing habeas corpus. On the same day, U.S. casualties spiked in Iraq, where Bush and his cronies started a war under false pretenses, and where torture has been–and seems destined to be–used by U.S. forces against Iraqis. And, a National Intelligence Estimate says that

The Iraq conflict has become the “cause celebre” for jihadists, breeding a deep resentment of US involvement in the Muslim world and cultivating supporters for the global jihadist movement.

While gathering the three links above, I noticed something interesting about the way our government disseminates information. Legislation is easy to find on the Library of Congress’ THOMAS system. That National Intelligence Estimate wasn’t hard to google (it’s even easier if you have the full title: “Declassified Key Judgments of the National Intelligence Estimate Trends in Global Terrorism: Implications for the United States dated April 2006″). For the casualty reports, just go to www.defenselink.mil and select the link labeled Casualty Reports. What could be easier?

But wait… DefenseLINK only publishes the current total number of casualties. It’s good about archiving other stuff, so why aren’t the past casualty reports kept online?

You need the past reports if you’re interested in trends. Is the rate of casualties increasing or decreasing? You can’t figure that out just by looking at DefenseLINK. Fortunately, volunteer sites like Iraq Coalition Casualties track that kind of stuff, allowing you to look at the data by month and day.

Now, why wouldn’t the Department of Defense want to give you those options? A cynic would say it’s because they don’t want you tracking trends. Mmmyep. That’s what a cynic would say.