2002-02-20

Johnny the Unemployed ManiacI’m so happy! That’s right, I’ve jettisoned surliness in favor of joy, sunshine, and a gi-gi-giggly feeling all over. If I was a human, I’d hug some “cute” creature–that is, one whose eyes are disproportionately large in relation to the rest of its head.

But, alas, robots aren’t very good at hugging. Many of us lack fine control over the servos in our arms. What starts out as a warm gesture often ends up in a mess of snapped spines and exploded intestines.

The source of this new feeling is all the Perl code I’ve installed behind this Web site. I know, it looks just the same from where you’re sitting. But believe me, this site will be much easier to manage now. And if you know anything about weblogs, you’ll know it’s more about me, the author, than you, the reader.

But I believe in spreading the joy, so today’s entry is about something everyone likes: serial killers comic books!

The most popular in this genre is Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. During the 1990s, this series sprang from the brain of Jhonen Vasquez, whose animated TV show, Invader Zim, just got cancelled.

Awww… to bad, Jhonen. Maybe that wouldn’t have happened if you’d take advantage of free publicity when it comes your way. Like the time I tried to interview you for Wired Magazine about the Johnny trade paperback, and you completely blow me off. Too busy for a phone interview? Please.

But, I’m getting off the subject. The Johnny series, yes, it was seven issues, collected in a trade paperback, really dark, funny, amazing material… even if the artist is a rude ass. All I needed was ten minutes on the phone. Ten minutes! You know, you made me look bad in front of my editor. Is that your game? Well, I’ve got a game, and it’s called “Look for a new job because Nickelodeon cancelled Invader Zim!”

Hell, there goes my good mood. I’ll have to finish writing about serial killers another day. Ten lousy, stinking minutes. What is wrong with you humans!!!

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